


A Catalyst For Growth

by PetitPentagram



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is a Great Big Brother, And their brOTP is the best, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Bonding, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Clary deserves nothing less, Family Dynamics, I'm Bad At Tagging, Multi, Protective Alec Lightwood, Since Clary and Alec get closer and Alec finally learns to communicate with her, This story could also be called "The Angel shouldn't have punished Clary so here is my response", clary gets her memories back, fraywood, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetitPentagram/pseuds/PetitPentagram
Summary: Alec makes it a point of honor to be there for anyone who needs his help at the institute despite his position. So when Clary comes to see him one day out of the blue, he puts his files aside to listen to her.
Relationships: Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Kudos: 35





	A Catalyst For Growth

**Author's Note:**

> The story is already written, and has 3 chapters. 
> 
> Next chapter should arrive next week if anyone would like to know what's next :)

Alec was reviewing old files to help reorganize the archives when Clary knocked on his door.

“Are you busy?”

“Nothing that can’t wait”

Alec relaxed in his chair, letting the old files he was reviewing sit on his desk for a while longer. No one had thought of organizing them for decades, surely, they could wait a few more days if Clary considered her issue important enough to come to him.

Their relation had improved – especially after they had managed to get her and her memories back – all thanks to Jace’s stubbornness. Now, even If Alec’s feathers were still ruffled every once in a while by her insubordination, they were making progress and considered each other friends – if not family.

“There is this new rune I’ve been having visions of” Clary started hesitantly.

Which explained why she had come to him. The angels had made themselves clear about the visions she would have. They had forgiven her shortly after her takedown of Jonathan had proved she was loyal and ready to make sacrifices but they hadn’t forgotten what she was capable of.

Clary would no longer be authorized to create runes unless they were the product of a vision. In the few months she’d been back, nothing had happened, and the girl had started to accept the fact that she would have to give up that part of her gift if she wanted to remain amongst her friends.

“What type?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if I should try it.”

She was clearly nervous still standing near the door. Alec beckoned her closer and made her sit, getting them some tea while he thought.

In truth, he hadn’t been sure he wanted to see what kind of rune the angel could have given Clary this time. As far as he knew, it could very well be a self-destruct rune, and he wasn’t willing to try that.

“Maybe… try and draw it on paper first? See what it reminds us of?” He offered. There were a few recurring patterns in runes. Maybe if they could decrypt what pattern this one used, they could have a better idea of what to expect.

Clary barely finished drawing it under Alec’s watchful gaze that the paper started to shimmer. Alec seized Clary and made them take a step back, worried about the reaction. And then in the blink of an eye, their surroundings disappeared and the piece of paper was blank again.

* * *

Letting go of Clary, Alec reached for his glamoured bow, ready to face anything while taking in the new environment. Clary had her blades up while she watched his back. 

So they still had their weapons. Good.

Even with their earing and other runes activated, no sign of life could be found anywhere close to them. So they decided to explore a little bit, at least until they could discover what had happened.

“I think we’re still in the institute” whispered Alec when he was faced with an old statue that he remembered from his childhood – but that shouldn’t be here. But when a Shadowhunter passed the corner, he didn’t seem to see them or hear them when they called after him.

Clary kept quiet after that, following Alec to the ops centre, where hopefully one of his siblings was. Unfortunately for them, Jace was here but neither he nor anyone around reacted to their presence. No matter what they did, they couldn’t attract his attention.

Alec frowned, trying to reach out to him through his parabatai rune, but nothing. He was getting worried, but Clary didn’t need to see him panic so he fell back into his battle mode. He had to investigate with her, and maybe if they were lucky, staying calm would allow them to find an answer.

There must be a reason the angels sent them here, right? Even if they had been expecting Clary to use the rune alone, and Alec had just tagged along, there had to be a way to go back. They had to go back.

When searching the Institute didn’t lead to any useful information, they went outside only to discover that they had somehow ended up as ghost not only for their allies but everyone else too. It seemed no one could see, hear or feel them.

No mundane, Shadowhunter on patrol or Downworlder.

Even after two hours roaming the streets, they had yet to get any clue about their situation.

“That’s creepy” commented Clary, clearly unnerved.

Alec didn’t answer, too lost to find an explanation to what they were experiencing. They went back inside if only to avoid the disturbing feel of people going _through_ them.

“Should I try to draw the rune again?”

“Let’s try to look around the Institute one more time and see if the silent city is useless too before risking anything. We’ll get through this together, I promise.”

That seemed fair, Clary decided. And a few more hours wouldn’t hurt, especially since the absence of basically any interaction with the outside world probably meant there was nothing dangerous here to ambush them.

* * *

As much as the institute and its inhabitants was an almost exact replica of theirs – giving strength to the theory that they were somehow ghosts more than in another universe – some things didn’t make sense.

“This is a room that has been condemned” explained Alec when he opened another door. “We used to hide here from Hodge. But the room next to it has only been turned into a secondary weapon room last month. It doesn’t make sense for the two of them to exist at the same time.”

Clary looked around the room, finding books about weapons and biology scattered all around. It was another thing that disturbed both of them. Everything looked abandoned but spotless. No dust, no webs, nothing.

They went to the silent city as soon as they left the room. Clary could see Alec was out of his depth, he could barely remember to slow down so she could follow without running. They eventually made it to the silent brothers, creeped out beyond words at the chilly atmosphere that always seemed to reign there.

But Alec relaxed when he got inside, Clary noticed with a frown.

“We might have some answers” he explained while pointing at the door on the side.

Clary got in first and sighed when she saw they finally found people who seemed to see them. Well, living beings?

**Come in, we will guide your way back.**

Clary would have made a victory dance at finally having answers but held it back.

* * *

“So basically, we’re stuck and can’t interact with any of them?” summarized Alec, frowning after the situation had been explained to them both.

Well, that sucked. Not that he blamed Clary for their current predicament, but he wished he could have one day without any unplanned emergencies involving out-of-body experience/maiming/new runes acting up take your pick.

Although, he guessed it could be worse. Clary wasn’t the one he would have chosen to get stuck with, but she had made real progress and was excellent when working under pressure. And to say the whole thing had started innocently enough.

“They’re a bit useless no?” Clary sighed.

“I think this one is on Raziel” sighed Alec.

A quest rune, his latest invention.

It was meant to guide you into reflecting on your acts and feelings. The brothers were convinced that, after much consideration, Raziel was only trying to show Clary, and her fellow Shadowhunters, the truth in their actions. It was supposed to test you and make sure you came back stronger and better from it, on a personal point of view. 

Also known as a spiritual quest. That’s what the rune was for and why only the brothers and maybe some very specific people could interact with them. They were only astral projections at the time.

The kind where you find yourself completely isolated until you learn your lesson.

“Asshole” muttered Clary.

Well, at least now they knew what to do. And hopefully, they would find their answer fast enough that no one would be too worried for them in the physical world.

“Think we both have to learn a lesson or just mine is going to be enough?”

“With our luck? Let’s plan for both.”

They sighed.

Sometimes, Alec was genuinely glad for Jace and his love for Clary. But other times, like these, he wondered how his parabatai managed to attract that much trouble.

“The brothers think there is a reason why the angel sent you this rune now, might as well start thinking about what it could be” commented Alec once they were back at their institute.

At least, knowing what was happening explained the discrepancies in the Institute appearance. It was based on Clary’s and Alec’s vision and mental representation of the place, cue the long-forgotten rooms cohabiting with the modern ones.

“I thought I was behaving” pouted Clary. “I train hard to become one of yours and not be a burden!”

“You do” praised Alec. “You still have much to learn but you were making real progress.”

Clary had sacrificed part of her gift to stay with them. She was still an artist, but every time she wanted to draw something, inevitably a rune was teasing her and she had started to draw less and less, joining Alec in the training room on late evenings when they barely had time to release their frustrations between two missions of two reports.

She missed her art, but she wasn’t going to sacrifice her friends and her world for that. Not when she could still draw portraits of Izzy cooking and doodles about daily life in the Institute.

She was finally getting used to not rely on her runes when the angels had sent her this vision.

“What about you? What could the angels possibly want you to improve?” Mused Clary while trying to keep a pen balanced on her nose. She wasn’t very successful.

“Do you want me to give you the list in chronological or alphabetical order?”

Clary rolled her eyes. Sometimes, she thought Magnus was rubbing off on Alec and he was even more of a drama queen than when she met him. And that was saying something!

It was especially torture because in the state they were in, with no physical body per se, they couldn’t even go to sleep and hope that a good night could give them some pointers.

“Since we can’t interact with stuff here, want to spar?” Offered Alec, tired of thinking in circles.

* * *

“You only offered so you could watch over Jace, didn’t you?”

Alec shrugged, keeping an eye on his parabatai training while checking Clary’s exercises. They didn’t think anyone was aware of their ‘disappearance’ yet. They hadn’t gone back to Alec’s office, not wanting to find themselves in front of their unconscious bodies. That would be way too creepy. But hours had gone by, and if anything, Underhill’s daily report to him would soon wreak havoc amongst their friends.

Which happened not long after, while he was teaching Clary how to fight hand to hand – Shadowhunters always relied on more than their signature weapon but they couldn’t interact with anything here. He could feel Jace’s panic through their bond, but he wasn’t sure anything he sent back to him was helping. They would probably call Magnus and Izzy next.

“Come on, we need to find them and see if they have any more information from their end.”

Clary followed silently.

* * *

“When was the last time anyone saw them?”

“I don’t know… Clary had lunch with me, and Alec was busy with old files all day.”

Jace was trying hard not to panic. He hadn’t felt anything wrong through the bond and yet his parabatai laid there, unresponsive. Either this was something harmless – but was it ever? – or they had a serious problem. Hopefully, Magnus’s examination would help them understand while Izzy runs her tests in her lab.

“Nothing’s wrong. They are in perfect condition.” Magnus frowned.

If even his magic couldn’t find the solution…

* * *

“Guess I should have seen that one coming.”

“Don’t say that, we’ll find a way, we always do.”

Alec barely smiled at the reminder. Yes, Clary had quite the reputation when it came to beat the odds, but how long until she failed? Until the angels themselves decided that they didn’t want her to cheat her way out of trouble?

If that was really supposed to be a lesson, he simply didn’t know how to win. There was too much that could be the answer, and for all they knew, they didn’t have that long.

“You accepted to play by the rules, what else could they want from you?” Alec thought aloud, trying to piece together what the endgame was. If they were going with the idea that angels had “pure” motives, surely it would be something bigger than simply him or Clary.

It’s not as if it hadn’t been painful either to see their friend sad at the idea of giving up her runes. Each of them was intimately familiar with sacrifice but they had never wanted her to feel so hopeless. Especially when they had learned that her own mother had been the one to warn her about the consequences of her actions.

“It would be easier if it was something like _teach Alec how to have fun_ ”

Clary was feeling bitter. Here they were, witnessing their family struggling to understand the situation, and they knew exactly what they needed to do but had no idea how to go about it.

Ever since she became a Shadowhunter, she had lost her mom, her best friend had suffered so much she had thought she would lose him, and she had to give up her future and her gift to fit in a place she barely had any connection to. Suffice to say, it was hard enough on any given day, she didn’t need the reminder that she still wasn’t enough, and probably never would be.

“Hey, none of that crap.” Alec’s voice brought her back to the present. “You’ll get a crazy revelation and we’ll be fine, as always”

Cheering someone up wasn’t his favourite thing to do, mostly because he wasn’t good at it, but he couldn’t stand seeing the lost look on Clary. He had to get her to focus on something else for now.

Looking around, he noticed Magnus and the others had left the office and had taken their bodies with them. Taking charge, Alec decided to find them, make sure their bodies were safe then go to Izzy to see if she was any closer to get them back without any of that quest crap. He didn’t have any hope, but at least, that would get them moving for the next few minutes, hopefully, enough time for Clary to get back on her feet.

And she did.

“I can’t believe they’re making us share a bed.”

Well, at least some of that good humour was back, thought Alec.

“Can’t see why you’d be surprised. The bed is big enough for three, we’ve checked with Jace and Izzy, and it’s the easiest way to monitor both our conditions without alerting everyone.”

Because no one wanted a panic, and if the head of institute and Clary were found unconscious without any reason, that was bound to trigger things that would be hard to get back under control once they’d wake up.

“And you still can’t use parabatai privileges to get in touch with Jace?”

Alec sighed and shook his head. It seemed that was a dead-end. But maybe if that was so, it meant what he was supposed to reflect on was not related to Jace in any way? He was grasping at straws here, but he didn’t see what Clary and he could have in common, and imagining they had a different quest felt illogical considering they were stuck together.

God, that sounded stupid even in his head.

“And Magnus can’t seem to be able to see us, so might as well assume we got all the help we could get.”

If it could be enough that is.

Not enough was Alec’s middle name after all, or so it seemed all his life, so unless Clary had one of these crazy plans, they could spend a while in this in-between. Not that he would let her work on the solution alone, but he doubted he could find the solution considering the vision had been sent to _Clary_ in the first place.

He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

He sat against the wall on the floor, keeping watch over Jace keeping watch over their bodies while deep in thought. He wasn’t tired, not really, but he didn’t know what else to do. Clary sat next to him, though not close enough to invade his personal space.

* * *

“I never did thank you properly for saving Jace” murmured Alec, his eyes not leaving his almost fretting parabatai. Hours had gone by, and none of the introspection they force themselves to do seemed to trigger anything. “Everything was such a mess for a while that I just…”

“forgot to take a breath and think on the positive?” guessed Clary. “Raziel was the one to bring him back, I was just the idiot that wasted everyone’s sacred wish because she couldn’t keep him out of Valentine’s grasp”

“You’re talking to the guy who got his boyfriend’s immortality and magic taken from him because he wasn’t good enough at reading his parabatai.”

As expected, his words seemed to shock Clary into comforting him. Alec was about to answer when he realized something. Or several something, but one was more important. He suddenly understood what he had in common with her. What could link them to the point of ending up trapped together.

How she couldn’t see that they were both simply unlucky and blaming themselves for things out of their control was a mystery to him, but then again, he did take a few years for him to understand that. But he did learn the hard way that guilt wouldn’t help. Guilt was a paralyser; they were supposed to be fighters.

He wasn’t sure he believed it fully, but his realization must have been enough because his hands started fading, and suddenly Jace shouted his name.

“You can see me?”

Jace ran to him but he was still intangible, and he went right through him. Their connexion, however, seemed to be back; he could feel his fear and desperation. Biting his lip before the sight, Alec knew he was going to hurt him even more.

Looking back and forth between Jace and Clary, he knew he couldn’t just leave her alone. Not when he knew intimately how hard it would be for her to accept the truth. And he had promised. He wasn’t one to take his promises lightly.

“I… I’m sorry, but we’re not in danger, I promise.” Then he turned to Clary who was starting to panic at the idea of being left alone. “I’m not leaving until you can leave with me okay?”

And for once in his life, Raziel must have heard his prayer because he stopped fading away and Jace screamed his name one last time before it was clear he couldn’t see him anymore.

Clary latched onto his arm, her hold almost painful. Alec didn’t say anything, putting his hand on her shoulder to reassure her the best he could.

“What just happened?” she was quick to take back control, ready to act.

“I just found the answer.” He was tempted to let her find it on her own, the way he had to, afraid that it wouldn’t work if he helped her too much. But one look at her was enough.

Fuck it, he thought. Raziel better not punish them for helping her when he was responsible for this twisted situation in the first place.

“We’re both stubborn idiots specialised in guilt.”

Clary frowned, letting go of his arm while she mulled it over. She looked like she had swallowed a lemon, grimacing, broadcasting her thoughts to Alec clear as day.

At least she wasn’t disputing it. But she was staying still, and he wasn’t used to it. She was supposed to be buzzing with energy.

“Or I guess you have an annoying case of a saviour complex.” His joke fell flat, but it did get a reaction.

“And you have a martyr complex.”

Alec rolled his eyes but had to admit it wasn’t that far from the truth. Considering recent events? He couldn’t deny he was willing to sacrifice himself maybe a bit too much.

Now, that wasn’t what was important. What mattered here was making her understand that she had done the best she could and that having angel blood didn’t mean she was supposed to be superhuman.

 _Pot, kettle_ , scoffed Alec internally at the hypocrisy of his thoughts but refrained from saying anything out loud.

“What I mean” Alec breathed in deeply, trying to find the best way to say it. He missed Magnus at that moment, he would know how to say it with tact. “is that we… I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to understand you’re enough for us. We are not supposed to work alone, and we are supposed to protect each other, not let you do all the work because you are gifted.”

There, that wasn’t too bad for a spontaneous speech, was it? Alec was kind of proud of himself for formulating his ideas so clearly. True, Izzy and the others had repeated the same thing to him over and over, so he couldn’t take all the credit, but considering none of them was here and Clary was stuck with him, he guessed he could have done worse.

Clary sat back down, bringing Alec with her because he was still holding her and refused to break contact. He had read more than once that physical contact helped in emotional situations. Sitting down so that their sides were touching, he let her have the time to digest everything.

It wasn’t new information. Everything he said had been said before when teaching her teamwork and Shadow hunting duties. But this felt more personal. More vulnerable on his side. He hadn’t taken the time to reassure her about her place in the institute now that all the horrors that followed Clary stopped. The poor girl had gone through all of that while discovering a whole new world, and he hadn’t spared a thought to the aftermath.

He’d do better, in the future.

Clary shouldn’t rely exclusively on Jace – her boyfriend – and Izzy – her maybe future parabatai? – to have support in the institute. She needed a real friend; someone she could trust and maybe that was something Alec could give her. He had more than enough support from his family and Magnus, he wanted to do that for her.

More than that, he knew he was strong enough to offer her stability in that regards.

“I don’t have my gift anymore. What can I offer you without it?”

It felt like Clary had been repressing a lot of insecurities that could finally be expressed. Alec listened quietly as she explained that a former mundane would never have a place in the Institute, even less now that the angels were watching her every move, waiting for her to make a mistake.

Her hands were shaking when she spoke of that day when she understood she would have to say goodbye to her new friends to be able to save them, and Alec couldn’t help but cover them with his own. He only needed one hand to cover hers. She seemed so delicate, just like Izzy and yet both girls were lethal even at their most vulnerable.

Alec kept listening until she ran out of breath. He was out of his depth. He had to comfort Izzy once or twice when growing up, but that was different. He hoped for the best while he let his instinct guide him.

He squeezed her hands, trying not to do anything she wouldn’t be comfortable with while offering comfort.

“You know… When I think of you, I think about the impulsive and resourceful redhead that barged into our lives and survived a literal war without any training. I don’t think about the angel-blooded experiment Valentine created or the Shadowhunter that creates new runes. It will be tough for you, I won’t lie. The angels might never allow you to create new runes again, but I can’t lie and say I’m not happy that you’re still with us, that you chose us, despite the cost.”

And it wasn’t only for Jace or Izzy either. Alec had come to trust and like Clary despite their rocky start. He would have been devastated to never get her back because she sacrificed herself to save them. So maybe he pushed her a bit too much in training, but he wasn’t going to let anyone come anywhere close to his loved ones without protecting them any way he could.

She seemed to understand what was left unsaid, a shy smile making her way onto her face. He couldn’t help but smile back as he saw they were finally going back to their bodies, their intertwined hands disappearing rapidly along with the rest of their astral form.

Alec opened his eyes barely a second later and turned his head, checking that Clary was indeed with him. She was; her head to the side to check on Alec too. He moved his hand until he could squeeze hers.

Jace jumped in his chair, hovering over them before ordering them to stay put while he went to get Magnus. He barely had the time to take a step before Magnus and Izzy were in the room.

There were worry and uneasiness in their demeanour. Alec and Clary were allowed to sit up but strictly forbidden to get up without any explanation. Which they gladly gave to let everyone know they were alright.

For a relative definition of alright.

“Darling, surely you understand that seeing you still haven’t let go of Clary can be a cause of concern?”

Alec blushed hard, realising that yes, he still had Clary’s hand in is. Sending a glare in her direction when she coughed to hide her laugh, he let go of her and instead let Magnus check that everything was fine with the both of them.

He would not let them make fun of him because he was suddenly more open with Clary, thank you very much.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so I apologize for any mistakes :)


End file.
